


The Price

by mangocianamarch



Series: Le Livre de L'abondance par La Dame Marciana [3]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: EVERYONE LIVES COZ IT'S FIX-IT AWWWYEAH, Fix-It, M/M, Post BotFA, Post-Canon Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-09
Updated: 2013-06-09
Packaged: 2017-12-14 10:10:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/835729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mangocianamarch/pseuds/mangocianamarch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by <a href="http://media.tumblr.com/e388a1e8a6f8db893d6142a90d1b26fd/tumblr_mo3ot6Bu481qda04qo1_1280.jpg">this fanart</a> by the utterly incredible <a href="http://kaciart.tumblr.com/">Kaciart</a> on Tumblr.</p><p>Though known for much more free-wheeling ways of lives, Dwarves count several things taboo, including incest. Proof of or confession to an incestuous relationship means a punishment of death. So how far will Thorin, King Under the Mountain, go to protect his nephews when he finds out their dark secret?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Caught

**Author's Note:**

> This fic came about during one of [Julie](http://kaciart.tumblr.com/)'s art streams. She had asked for a word as a prompt - _mercy_ \- and from input and ideas from the wonderful people in the stream's chatroom, the fanart began to take shape. The prompt was too good to let go of, so I begged Julie to let me write the fic to go with it. This is that fic, shaped not just by me, but by Julie and all the awesome people who watched her stream that day.
> 
> This fic, and all its angst, is dedicated to Julie, Bean, [Kat](http://archiveofourown.org/users/littlestsecret), Chel, Peanut, and all the wonderful, wonderful people in the stream that put this fic together. If I forgot to mention you by name, I'm sorry, but know that I still love ya. This fic is as much your work as it is mine.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They've been in love forever. They've been inseparable. They've been careful. Tonight, they were reckless.

_Love is just a history_

_That they may prove_

_And when you're gone_

_I'll tell them my religion's you_

_When Pontius comes_

_To kill the king upon his throne_

_I'm ready for their stones_

 

"There you are!"

Fili's walk does not stop even as he turns his head. Kili bounds up to him, hands in his pockets and a mile-wide smile on his ever youthful face.

"You seem tired," Kili points out, perhaps a little too cheerfully.

"You try being in talks and meetings with Uncle all day," Fili snorts, "See how _you_ fare afterwards."

"It's no wonder I thank Aule everyday that I am not you then," Kili laughs, "Think of how these boyish good looks would have gone to waste, for one thing."

Fili scoffs, elbowing his younger brother in the ribs and picks up his pace.

Chuckling, Kili jogs to catch up to him. "Only teasing, brother!" He says, wrapping an arm around Fili, "I care, you know I do."

"I know," Fili sighs, allowing himself to all but fold into Kili's embrace, "S'nice. At least someone does."

"You must be truly exhausted," Kili observes, "I've not heard you talk so darkly since the battle."

When Fili looks up, he finds such an endearing look of concern on Kili's face that he can't help but feel a little guilty. He offers a smile, tired though he, and it, may be.

"I'm fine," he tries, "Really. But sitting in a chamber full of codgy old stiffs fighting about trade and politics is not quite what I expected."

"It's what Uncle has been training you for," Kili reminds him, "It's good for you to be part of these things. When the crown goes to you, you won't be clueless and vulnerable. Still, I can't imagine what it must be like to feel so...so..."

"Confined," Fili finishes for him, "Ironic, isn't it? We fought to win back our home, only to be trapped in it."

"Can't be all that bad, though, can it?" Kili offers, stopping their progress along the deserted corridor and facing his brother to him, running his hands soothingly up and down his shoulders, "I mean...We've still got each other, despite a few close calls."

The grin on Fili's face is now truthfully happy and content. "Yes," he replies, "Yes, we do."

Kili takes this as his cue to lean in and kiss him gently. He smiles just a little when Fili opens his mouth and returns the kiss, but when Kili tries to deepen it, Fili pushes off.

"Not here," Fili says in a harsh whisper.

"We're alone, Fi," Kili assures him, "No one comes down here but us at this time of night."

"Yes, but--" Fili protests, but Kili cuts across him.

"Please, Fi," he pleads softly, stepping closer even and pulling Fili against him, "Been too long. You've been so busy and so tired, and I miss you. Can't you feel it?"

Fili is quite certain that there are two meanings to Kili's question, but chooses not to tell him so. "I've missed you too, as well, Ki," he answers, barely catching a moan as Kili grinds against him just a little, "But this corridor isn't exactly off-limits, and--"

"Oh, who's going to come down here, Fili?!" Kili half-whines, "Mum's been asleep for hours, and Uncle is almost literally half the mountain away. No one will see. I need you, Fili, _please_."

Kili pulls him flush against him, and Fili can no longer deny the evidence, not Kili's, nor his. With a tiny shrug, he acquiesces, and Kili smirks, hungry and needy and predatory. He backs up against a wall, taking Fili with him and kissing him hot and hard. Hands are everywhere at once, tongues dueling in mouths, chests heaving in time and clothes becoming more and more disheveled by the second.

Kili reaches down between them, hand skimming Fili's torso, until he has him cupped in his palm. Their kiss breaks as Fili gasps sharply, and Kili pulls him in again, kissing him even greedier as he strokes Fili through his breeches. Kili's practiced experience has him stiff and needy in mere minutes.

"Oh Fili," Kili sighs, kissing at his jaw, "only you, my One. Only you."

"Not here," Fili pants, gasping again when Kili tightens his hold on his erection, "Ki, not here."

"Fili, I need you," Kili protests breathlessly.

"Want to drag this out," Fili counters, nearly groaning at the look on Kili's face as understanding dawns on him, "Want to make this last."

"Fi--" Kili starts, but fading echoes of unfamiliar sounds cut him off. The brothers fly apart, looking up and around them in tense silence. When nothing greets them or returns their curiosity, Fili turns his eyes back to Kili's flushed face, his lust-darkened eyes and kiss-swollen lips. He fixes him with a gaze that would perhaps melt ice.

"Your quarters," Fili breathes, "Now."

 

\---+---+---+---+---+---+---

 

The morning hours find Fili and Kili tangled in the latter's sheets, sound asleep and naked still. The night had been spent rediscovering each other, as if they had spent years and years instead of just a few weeks apart. Once past the threshold to Kili's room, Fili had found himself set upon by his brother, Kili all but tossing him onto his bed and attacking his clothes with careless abandon.

"Let me, Fili," Kili had groaned, "Let me take care of you. Let me take your troubles away. Let me love you."

And he had. Fili had let him, all too happy to let Kili claim him, and not just in body. Kili had made him feel wanted again, more than just needed, desired more than required. Their passion had lasted into the wee hours of the night, and when Fili had finally come, he had done it hollering Kili's name, clinging to him desperately as if he could pull him into his very person. Kili had followed not long after, spilling into Fili's willing, open body, a look of pure affection on his face. He had smiled lazily and lovingly as he had pulled out and watched his seed leak out of Fili, had sighed his name as he bent low and pressed his tongue to Fili's entrance, tasting him and the bitter tangy result of their heat. Fili had held Kili until sleep had claimed them both.

They stir in unison now, ever so slowly, as if they had all the time in the world. Kili, on his stomach and hand splayed on the skin of Fili's, starts tracing lazy patterns feather-like on Fili's torso. Fili smiles softly, eyes barely able to awaken as he strokes a hand through Kili's hair.

"How are you feeling?" Kili asks him, sleep still clinging to his voice.

"Good," Fili answers, "Content. Happy. Very happy. I've missed you so, Ki."

Kili answers by shifting so he can kiss him. They take their time, enjoying the intimacy and the sweetness of it. Fili thinks he can feel Kili smile against his lips. He reaches up and tangles his fingers in Kili's hair, and Kili sighs, not quite deepening the kiss but letting Fili hold him and touch him, as if they both need more convincing that the other is real.

"Will you stay with me?" Fili asks Kili, "Would you swear to never leave my side, even - most especially - when I've assumed the throne?"

Kili opens his mouth to respond, but the door bursts open, and when both brothers turn as one, horrified not at the intrusion but at what is now too late to hide, they find their mother gasping for breath, eyes wide in panic.

"Mother!" Fili exclaims, his heart somewhere in the region of his throat, "Mother, we can expl-"

"No time," Dis heaves, "Get out...Coming...He's comi--"

But before she can finish her breathless warning, Thorin skids to a halt beside her in Kili's open doorway, Balin at his side, along with one of the councilmen who had been at the many long meetings they day before.

A heavy, pregnant silence falls upon them all. Fili and Kili are rooted to the spot, their eyes locked onto their Uncle. Their is no anger in Thorin's face, but what they do find there make them both wish for it instead. The worst of Thorin's anger would be easier to face than the horrified betrayal they see in his eyes. His bellowed rage would have been easier to deal with than the cold, quiet danger with which he addresses them.

"Get dressed," he commands. He turns on the spot then, stomps off. The anonymous Dwarf follows swiftly after. Balin seems sincerely disappointed and apologetic as he shakes his head and follows in their wake. Dis remains, still panicked, still heaving for breath, her eyes wet with unshed tears.

Kili scrambles off of Fili, barely able to look him in the eye. Fili wraps himself in the sheets in a final, half-hearted attempt at modesty, as he turns to his mother. He tries to offer some sort of apology, or an explanation, but before he can get a word out, they hear Thorin roar her name, making them all jump at the sheer venom in his tone. With one last look at her boys, Dis finally leaves, sniffling with her efforts to keep from crying.


	2. Trapped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The accusation is true. The proof is real. The punishment is harsh.

_Tell me would you kill_

_To save a life?_

_Tell me would you kill_

_To prove you're right?_

_Crash, crash, burn_

_Let it all burn_

_This hurricane's chasing us all_

_Underground_

 

"It is law, Thorin. It is our law as a people."

Thorin only half-hears Balin's sad declaration. Nearly bent double in his throne, his eyes are shut tight, fingers rubbing at his eyebrows as if the action would offer him some sort of comfort. It doesn't.

Try as he might, he cannot banish the image of Fili and Kili, entwined and entangled in bed. When Nardur had approached him in the Great Hall as he broke his fast with a stuttering tale of what he had seen the night before, he had not believed him - or perhaps had not wanted to. Fili and Kili have been close all their lives, he had told the councilman, perhaps he had mistook what he saw for more than what it had been. But Dis had left in poorly veiled haste, and Thorin could not deny the suspiciousness of it all. The mere fact that Dis had tried to head Thorin off to warn her sons should have been enough, but Thorin had wanted to prove the accuser - and, to be honest, himself - wrong. He had hoped to find the brothers asleep in their separate quarters. He had not expected to find them in the debauched, disheveled, shameful state that he did. They were not supposed to have been locked in an embrace of intimacy forbidden between kin. Fili and Kili have gotten themselves in trouble more than once in their shared lives, but never as dire as this.

To Thorin's left stands Dis, shaking in her attempt to keep her composure and failing spectacularly. The pronouncement of the punishment had caused her to swoon, but she had not fainted. Thorin bitterly thinks that perhaps it would be better if she had; at least he would not be subjected to her soft sobbing, her desperate mewling, her horrified gasps. All of these cut right into Thorin and tear at his heart, as if duty and tradition are not already hard at work on doing so.

"Thorin..." Dis whispers, "Thorin, please...Surely, there must be something you can do."

"It is our law, sister," Thorin replies, and it nearly disgusts him to say so, "No one is above the law. Not even the Crown Princes."

"But my sons, Thorin!" She pleads, "My sons! You helped raise them! You know them! You love them as I do!"

"But they are not the first case of this in the royal line," Nardur offers, "Twice before, this has happened. Siblings caught in love with each other. No one escaped punishment. They died, Lady Dis, as dictated by Dwarven law. To lie with one's own kin is an abonimation, a perversion of our Dwarven ways. There is no other choice."

"There has to be!" Dis protests angrily, "There MUST be!"

"Enough," Thorin calls, and silence falls immediately, "You were right, Dis, to say that I love them as if they were my own. But Lord Nardur speaks true as well. My hands are tied. The law states all too clearly what must be done."

"Hang the bloody law!" Dis argues, all but charging at Thorin on his throne, "You are King under the Mountain! More than that, they are your family! Would you truly sentence the last of our blood to die? Fili is heir to the throne! Is this how you would see our line end?!"

"Do you not think this pains me as well, sister?!" Thorin asks, matching Dis's rage with his own, "Do you not think that if there were any other way, I would have chosen it by now? If I let my heart make this decision, I will be seen as weak, and we would put our rule to risk! Those who lay claim to our throne would see my leniency as a weakness, and perhaps even use it as an excuse to wage a war to take the throne from us! We've come too far and made far too much progress to throw it all away now, all because I bent the law to my own will!"

Dis is still sobbing steadily and offers no argument. Thorin presses on.

"I am trapped, Dis," he says, more sad now than angry, "If I let them pass, word will spread of my vulnerability and put us all in danger. But if I follow through, I will lose one of the few constants in my life, all for the greater good. I would be seen as cruel, and unfeeling, but all would know that while I sit on the throne, I shall suffer no fools. You cannot know...It is a burden, Dis, to be made to choose between my nephews and my people. But I must. I do not want to, but I must."

"Then perhaps death would be a more merciful fate for them," Dis answers at last through gritted teeth, "It would be far less cruel for them to come to their end than to live to see their Uncle turn into cold stone, lording over lands with fear rather than respect."

She leaves then, anger and desperation weighing her down as she stomps away in defeat and sorrow. Sighing heavily, Thorin falls back into his chair, exhausted though the ordeal is far from over.

"Balin," he calls, and the wizened counselor turns a saddened but yet sympathetic gaze towards him, "Is there truly nothing that can be done?"

"I'm afraid history proves that there should not be," Balin offers, "But then again, none of the executed royals were heirs to the throne."

Thorin scoffs. "So I punish Kili and leave Fili be, on account of his future stake on the kingdom?" He asks, sarcastic, "That's hardly an improvement."

"But it does give us a loophole," Balin points out, "Perhaps no one need lose their lives. Dis was not wrong when she noted that there are fates worse than death for Fili and Kili."

If Thorin were less than himself, he might have jumped in relief. _Of course...Of course..._

"It is a punishment still," Balin confirms, "Less harsh, but no less potent. One that, I think, we all would be more relieved with."

Nardur's eyes are shifting between the two, but Thorin pays him no mind. He cannot smile yet at the prospect of what now faces his nephews, but it is far better than what could have been. It would do. It would definitely do.

"Have you decided where?" Balin asks.

"I have," Thorin answers, nodding, "There is only one I would trust."

Balin nods as well, understanding though Thorin named none. "I shall write then," he offers.

"That can wait," Thorin tells him, "Bring them to me. All three of them."


	3. Condemned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Push has come to shove. A choice has been made. He must be condemned.

[ ](http://kaciart.tumblr.com/post/52502422622)

_And I’m damned if I do_

_And I’m damned if I don’t_

_So here’s to drinks in the dark_

_At the end of my road_

_And I’m ready to suffer_

_And I’m ready to hurt_

_It’s a shot in the dark_

_Aimed right at my throat_

 

 

“No, it wasn’t! Uncle, he’s lying, it wasn’t just him. Uncle!”

Dis tugs hard at Fili’s arm, hissing at him to silence himself, but Fili refuses. He cannot – will not – stand for this, and anyone who would think otherwise would have to be a fool.

“Fili, your brother has openly admitted, under oath to your King, that he seduced you, for purely selfish reasons,” Thorin says, cold and calm, perhaps far too much, “By his own word, he has absolved you of any crime, and therefore, has freed you from judgement by our Dwarven law.”

“But he’s _lying_!” Fili protests, looking from Thorin’s impassive face to the quiet surrender on Kili, “I went to his bed willingly, I always have and I always will! Kili, tell him!”

But Kili, on his knees with his hands bound before him, as though some common criminal, only shakes his hung head, refusing to speak another word.

“Silence, Fili,” Thorin commands, low and dangerous, before turning to Kili again, “The sentence for crimes such as these is death, but I condemn you instead to exile – Do you understand the generosity I show to you?”

Fili tries to run to Kili’s side, still unable to believe that he is to escape punishment when his brother would not, but Dwalin and Dis pull him back. Kili turns sad eyes up to Fili, then to his Uncle.

“I would rather you show me no mercy, Uncle.”

Kili’s declaration pierces right thrugh Fili’s heart, cold and unforgiving as ice. “Ki,” he breathes, struggling against Dwalin’s arms, “Ki, why are you doing this? Why are you letting him do this to us? He can’t take you from me! I won’t let him!”

“It’s _done_ , Fili,” Thorin declares, his tone more dangerous now, “Be thankful this is how it ends. You know the law, Fili. You know if I had been less merciful, it would have spelled the end of our line for good. Your lives would have been forfeit.”

“Is that all you care about then?” Fili retorts, “Self-preservation? Am I saved only because I am heir? Try this on for size then, _Uncle_. Either keep us both here, or banish us both. Whatever you choose, it will be _both_ of us. Together. Or none of us at all.”

Fili thinks he sees the ghost of a smile in the corner of Kili’s mouth. Thorin’s brows furrow, and he sighs, exasperated.

“You are being selfish,” Thorin remarks, “I expected so much more from you, Fili. You’ve done me proud, but in this moment, you shame me by acting like a child!”

“Is it childish to fight for the one you love?” Fili counters, “Because I will fight, _Thorin_. I will always fight for him, to the best of my abilities, for as long as I can, to my last breath! He is everything to me. He is my One, Thorin.”

The whole room seems stunned into silence by this pronouncement, but none more so than Thorin. He flushes, then pales, and needs to take a few breaths to calm himself.

“You know not what you say,” he says, slow and quiet, tone so low it’s almost inaudible, “Think, Fili, and do not speak of that which you do not understand.”

“Oh, as you do, you mean?” Fili hisses, “You, who spent most of your life fighting to reclaim lost treasure that you never _earned_ , treasure that was given to you by _birthright_? You, who spent more time in the company of tired, old men who would seek to usurp you at every opportunity rather than with your own family? You understand what it is to know and find your One, don’t you?”

Thorin seems to take this as a hard blow. Before Fili knows what’s happening, Thorin is striding across the throne room towards him. He feels the backhanded slap rather than sees it. The sharp sound it makes echoes around and bounces off the walls. Fili loses step and falls backward, stunned more by the action than the impact. Dis catches him, her horrified gasp of his name barely registering in his brain. Fili tries again to charge at Thorin, but his mother and Dwalin hold him back.

“You overstep, Prince!” Thorin growls, “You forget your place! I am Thorin Oakenshield, and I am King under the Mountain! Who are you to undermine my authority and superiority in the very room that holds and represents it? I did not fight tooth and nail for more than a hundred years to restore my birthright – _your_ birthright – only to have you tear it down in an instant with your shameful perversion!”

Fili cannot bear to look at anyone. His cheek still stings from the slap, but not as much as Thorin’s words do. Unfortunately, Thorin isn’t finished.

“This is the price you pay,” Thorin hisses, “This is the cost of your selfishness. Your brother is _exiled_ , banished indefinitely. You are to remain here to fulfil your duties as heir and, eventually King. This is my _final word_ , and if you defy me again, the consequences will be greater, and I shall not be so lenient!”

Fili’s anger boils over. He spins out of Dis’ hold, grabs a dagger out of Dwalin’s belt, and holds it up to one of his braids.

“Fili, no!” Dis exclaims, Dwalin echoing the sound, but Fili pays them no heed.

“Take him then!” Fili tells Thorin, “But I swear to you, I will not let it pass! I refuse to rule a kingdom that does not include Kili! Take him from me, and I cut myself off from the inheritance. All I need is a reason, Uncle.”

Thorin seems to consider this bargain for a while. He looks from one brother to the other, one standing in brave defiance of his King, the other kneeling in surrender to him. So opposite in actions, and yet their cause is the same. Thorin’s expression softens ever so slightly. Fili’s grip on the handle of the dagger tightens, his determination to follow through steeling even more.

“Oh Fili,” Thorin answers, shaking his head, “Why do you continue to push me?”

Fili offers no answer, and Thorin sighs.

“Very well,” Thorin breathes, and Fili grits against the hope rising in his chest, “You leave me no choice. Allow me to serve _you_ a counter-offer. Cut off your braids, a symbol not only of your lineage and inheritance but also of your achievements and accomplishments as a born warrior, and I send Kili to the Iron Hills. And we all know Dain is much less given to compassion than I am. The plan was to send him to the Shire to live out the rest of his days, but if you push me, I will have to reconsider. In the Iron Hills, he would have no freedom. His movements will be carefully watched, dictated even, by Dain. If Dain ever finds out _why_ the last heir of Durin has been banished to spend his years in such hardship, I don’t think he would be quite so merciful. These are your choices, Fili. Your brother’s destination is, quite literally, in your hands.”

Fili’s jaw clenches, although the hand holding the knife to his hair begins to shake slightly. Kili has turned away from him, but on his face, he sees the reflection of his dilemma. He wants to, by Aule, he wants to leave. He wants to cut himself off from the throne forever if it means he would be with Kili, but this seems to be Thorin’s most serious threat yet. The look on the King’s face tells Fili that he will not back down, and he _will_ send Kili to the Iron Hills if Fili goes through with his own threat.

But Kili can _not_ go to the Iron Hills. Dain, though respectful of Thorin’s reign, is fierce, punishing and unforgiving. Kili’s royal status would not save him from hard labour under Dain’s service, nor would it keep him safe from the less refined, much harder company that Dain keeps. Without doubt, in days, Kili would be _begging_ for death. At least in the Shire, he would be well taken care of, most likely in the household of their hobbit. Bilbo would not let Kili waste away, nor put him to merciless labour.

Either way, however, Kili is exiled. The brothers would be separated _for good_ , and Fili would rather die than be separated from his One. A death shared with Kili would be a gift compared to this. This, more than any other thought, keeps the dagger up to Fili’s braid.

“Fili…”

Dis’s voice is soft, almost inaudible, but Fili hears calmness in it. It is almost a balm.

“Fili, please,” Dis whispers, putting a hand on her eldest’s arm, “Please.”

Careful to keep the knife from his face, Fili turns his head slightly to meet his mother’s eyes. Her eyebrows are slightly raised in plea, but something in her deep brown eyes, so like Kili’s, speaks volumes to Fili.

Finally, taking a deep, shaky breath, Fili lowers the knife. Beside him, Dis breathes a sigh of relief, but does not release his arm.

Thorin turns from Fili, perhaps assured that he will not give in to rashness. He addresses Kili. “You have three hours,” he tells the younger, “You will return to your quarters, and pack your things. Take what you will that belongs to you, and you alone. You will be escorted for the breadth of your journey from here by Dwalin to ensure that no detour is taken. You will speak to no one but your escorts until you are clear of Lake-town. Do I make myself perfectly clear?”

Kili raises his head at last, and were the situation not so tense, Fili would have smiled at the familiar rebellion on his beloved brother’s face. “Yes,” Kili replies, voice hushed but firm, “Your Majesty.”

Something jumps in Thorin’s face, and Fili sees his jaw clench a little, but his expression remains impassive and cold. He motions for Kili to be unbound, and Fili can only watch as Kili is bodily lifted to his feet and released from his bonds. Two guards flank him on either side, and one seizes his elbow, but Kili wrenches it away.

“I can walk,” he spits, and the guard looks to Thorin for orders. Thorin nods wordlessly, and Kili marches off, escorted by Thorin’s guards. Fili watches his brother walk down the long aisle, and his stomach drops, tears welling up in his eyes.

“Wait.”

Everyone freezes, as though Dis had shouted the request. Thorin fixes her with a steely gaze, but beside Fili, Dis is standing straight and strong, a proud heir of the blood of Durin.

“Reconsider the timing, Thorin,” Dis suggests, “If the people see one of the Crown Princes escorted from his mountain with a caravan, they would question the strength of the ruling family. Would it not be better to leave Kili’s departure for later, when the dark of night can cover his leave?”

Fili cannot understand what Dis’s true intentions are, but whatever it may be, Thorin does not seem to recognize that she has them at all. His silence tells Fili that Thorin is in fact considering the logic in Dis’s words. Fili turns an inquisitive look at Dis, but she only gives him a surreptitious shake of her head, her eyes not leaving Thorin.

“Kili,” Thorin calls, and Kili and his party turn towards the throne again, “You will be confined to your room until your departure. Your meals will be brought to you, and if you need to leave your quarters, you will always have an escort. Is that understood?”

Kili nods stiffly, his hands balled into fists. He turns on his heel and leaves then, and at the doorway, risks one last look at Fili. Fili tries to offer him a reassuring smile, but manages a half-hearted grimace of sorts. Kili disappears, and Fili thinks he feels his heart seize.

_Is this it, then?_

“Dis,” Thorin says, and Fili’s mother turns her attention to him without releasing Fili (perhaps for fear that he may yet do something he would regret), “May I ask that you keep Fili in your quarters with you until Kili has left?”

It is phrased as a question, but there is no mistaking the warning in it. Fili breathes in deep through his nose, lowering his head. He cannot bear to let Thorin see him weak and crying for his brother. It would not do now, after all that had been said and done in the past hour.

“Come away, my son,” Dis whispers, squeezing Fili’s arm as she turns to leave.

“Is this how I am expected to rule, then?” Fili asks Thorin, and he has no strength left to shout, “If so, you can keep your crown. You’ve been grooming me to be like you, but I will _never_ be like you. May your crown rest heavy on your head forever.”

He pivots, firmly turning his back on his Uncle, and allowing his mother to lead him away. If he had looked back, he would’ve seen Thorin fall back onto his throne, exhausted, despondent and cut deep.


	4. Exiled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The punishment has been dealt. The deal has been made. The last heir leaves home.

_We were made to never fall away  
Never fall away_

_One of these days letters are gonna_

_Fall from the sky_

_Telling us all to go free_

_But until that day I’ll find a way_

_To let everybody know_

_That you’re coming back_

_You’re coming back for me_

_Coz even though you left me here_

_I have nothing left to fear_

_These are only walls that hold me here_

“It’s not fair!”

Dis barely flinches when Fili grabs a jar standing innocently by the door and hurls it across the room, where it shatters against a wall, spilling its contents uselessly to the ground. Whatever hurt she feels at the thought of losing her youngest to some far-flung corner of Middle-Earth could not possibly compare to the pain Fili is dealing with. The jar is immaterial; it can be replaced. Kili cannot.

“Why _him_?” Fili hollers as Dis closes her door behind her, “Why him alone? This wasn’t his fault, it was never his fault! And _Thorin_ , he doesn’t understand, he never _does_! He can’t possibly understand, he’s never felt this way, never found _his_ One, he can’t know! Or perhaps he _does._ ”

He rounds on Dis, who has sat herself at the edge of her bed, watching her son’s tirade silently. She folds her hands in her lap as Fili continues to rant.

“Perhaps Thorin _does_ know what this is doing to me,” he says, “Yes, I’m certain he does! He _wants_ me to hurt, he wants me to feel this pain and suffer from it forever. This is _my_ punishment. He wants me to burn with longing and ache, and he wants to watch it destroy me. That’s it, isn’t it?”

“Of course it isn’t,” Dis sighs, trying to reach for Fili, only for him to step out of her reach, seething with anger still, “Fili, please.”

Perhaps her soft tone is what placates Fili enough for him to stop pacing. Dis reaches out to him again, and this time he offers his hand. She pulls him to her, and he allows her to sit him on the bed beside her and hold him close. She can feel him still shaking. She rubs a hand soothingly up and down his arm.

“We mustn’t fault Thorin for what he’s done,” Dis begins, and when Fili opens his mouth to protest, she puts up a finger to silence him, “He is more than just your Uncle now. He is King. He has far more responsibilities than ever before. Our kingdom stands again because of his efforts, but it does so weakly, as though a toddler discovering its feet for the first time, or a cripple learning to walk again. He must be seen as a strong leader, or all of his work – all of _your_ work together – will be for naught.”

“I don’t care!” Fili replies, but Dis shakes her head.

“You must,” she tells him, clasping his face gently in both of her hands, “He said many things this morning that I cannot agree with, but it pains me to admit that he is right to call your actions childish. You aren’t young anymore, my Fili. You’ve seen and done much in your life, and all of it leads to you one day leading our people when Thorin is no longer strong enough to do so. It is a long way away still, but you must prepare. Sacrifices have been made, and shall continue to be made.”

“I don’t see how any of this is supposed to make me feel any better,” Fili answers, “None of this tells me how I’m to get Kili back.”

“You can’t, my love,” Dis argues, “Sad as it is, he cannot come back. Thorin’s word as King is final, and we would be foolish to continue to defy him.”

“Because he would kill us?” Fili asks in return, “Let him, I say. If he wants to look like a strong leader, then I shall give him the opportunity. I’ll bring Kili back, and if he wants to, he can go through with the real punishment for our supposed crime and kill us. I’d even give him the weapon and let him do it himself.”

Dis’s breath catches in her throat momentarily. The hostility and anger in her usually calm and collected eldest’s face is jarring. She cannot help but recognize, again, just how much he resembles his father. Djili had only once seemed so pained, so mad at the world. He had been a man of peace, content to work in farms or mines rather than pick up an axe to fight. But he had been her One. They had been happy together. They had lost him to a war he joined only to protect his family, a family he never saw completed.

“You mustn’t say such things, Fili,” Dis sighs after a moment, taking her sons’s hands into his.

“And why should I not, Mother?” Fili hisses, “Why should I not, when I speak truth from my heart?”

“Fili…”

“Mother, I would rather die a thousand deaths with Kili, than to spend an entire lifetime without him.”

Fili’s eyes fill with tears again, and Dis feels her own mimic them. Lowering her head, she rubs at the back of Fili’s calloused hands with her thumbs, trying to comfort him but finding some for herself as well.

“I know,” she whispers, more to herself, “I know.”

“…You knew?”

“I did.”

The air around them fills with Fili’s surprise at Dis’s revelation. “...You knew,” he breathes, “You…how? How long have you known?”

“A while,” Dis answers gently, “A mother knows these things, my love. I found my One as well, I knew what it was like for me. I recognized it in Kili, more than in you. You’re much better at control than he ever was, or will be. You understand, of course, why I said nothing. I wanted to protect you, and I wanted to stay out of the way. I wanted to let you find your own paths, because I grew up having my path made and trod for me. Your love for each other has hurt no one else, so I saw nothing wrong.”

Fili seems to be at a loss for words. He stares at Dis as if seeing her for the first time, and Dis, in a moment of levity, nearly reaches out to close Fili’s gaping jaw. But then Fili’s expression changes, his features seeming to crunch towards the center of his face as his brows furrow, and understanding dawns on him.

“You knew,” he says again, but this time his tone is accusatory, “You knew, and still you let Thorin take Kili away!”

He tries to wrench away from her, but Dis holds on tight to his wrists. “I had to keep you both safe,” she tells him, “I had to ensure he would not do worse. Think, Fili. If I had continued to oppose him for _your_ sake, would you and I not be in chains as well? To the outside world, Thorin is a figure to revere, respect and perhaps even fear, but in these walls, he clings on to his power with bloody fingernails. The dragon-sickness claimed him once, it could claim him again; all it would take is enough push. We cannot risk that, so much more than a Cherished One could be lost.”

“But Kili –“

“Is not lost to us. Not yet. He yet lives, as do we both. Do you love him?”

“Yes.”

“Truly?”

“With every last inch of me.”

“And you will not falter?”

“I would do anything for him. He is my One, Mother. I know it to be true. I feel it in my bones.”

“Then listen to me very carefully…”

 

\--- + --- + --- + --- + --- + --- + --- + ---

 

“He’s going to have both our heads for this, you know.”

Beside Kili, Dwalin huffs, but Kili squares his shoulders, his steps firm and quick. “I won’t take long,” he says, “I promise.”

“If the guards realize we haven’t joined them yet…” Dwalin warns, but he trails off as Kili slows.

Fili’s door is closed shut. It usually isn’t; a tiny crack lets Kili know to let himself in, whether or not Fili is asleep. It’s how they communicated, how they got away for so long. But now…

“No time, laddie!” Dwalin hisses, as if anyone can come upon them at any moment.

“One moment!” Kili replies just as urgently, staring at the knob, “I just…”

He holds his hand out to it, suddenly unsure that this is such a good idea. As if to steel himself, he hastily removes his travelling cloak and his jacket, reaching them out to Dwalin to take. He takes a few deep breaths, clears his throat, and takes the doorknob in hand.

The sound it makes as the door opens echoes like a gunshot in the quiet corridor, but Kili has already done it, and there’s no more taking it back. He pushes the door open slowly, taking in the few torches lit, throwing just enough light into the room to keep it dim. In Fili’s bed, he sees his brother’s sleeping figure, and is almost disappointed. But they’ve both been through too much in the past day, and he cannot fault Fili for falling asleep. They both need their rest. He takes one step forward –

“Kili!”

Dwalin’s urgent whisper stops Kili in his tracks. “You said you wouldn’t,” Dwalin continues, “You can’t speak to him, you know that.”

Kili feels his heart sink. Dwalin would be forced to tell, even if he didn’t want to, if Kili disobeyed orders. He shouldn’t even be anywhere near Fili’s bedroom. Stepping into it would be more than just a little foolish. Is it not enough that he is being sent away? Must he continue to drag Fili through the dregs?

So he swallows, eyes closing as he tries to calm himself. When they open again, they fall on Fili.

“Goodbye, Fili.”

He shuts the door as slowly as he had opened it, and when it clicks closed this time, he barely hears it. His head turned away, he reaches for his jacket, and Dwalin helps him into it. Wordlessly, he puts his cloak back on, shaking fingers fumbling to tie them around his neck. Another deep breath to compose himself, and finally, he turns to Dwalin, back and head straight, and he nods. Dwalin steps aside to let Kili walk in front of him.

Kili looks forward only, his hands balled into fists as his arms swing a little at his sides. He struggles to keep his mind blank and calm as he walks the halls of Erebor one final time. He doesn’t want to see what’s around him, doesn’t want to remember what they look like. They had done so much, fought so hard, and worked endlessly to reclaim and rebuild their home, and now he was leaving it forever. He had never really appreciated the mountain as his _home_ , Kili now realizes, had never really given himself time to truly accept it as his new way of life. And now, as he’s being marched out of house and home, he has completely run out of time for it.

The walk to the stables, where the caravan of horses waited for him and Dwalin, seems to take forever. When they finally arrive, the first thing Dwalin does is to present him with his bow and arrows.

“There’s no telling what could happen on the road, lad,” Dwalin says with a shrug, “Thorin is no fool, and whatever he may have said today, he would not want you to come to an undeserved end.”

So Thorin is at least giving him this. If he can’t be with his brother, he’ll at least be with a trusted friend. Kili nearly smiles. Thorin hadn’t been too keen on Kili choosing a bow and arrow as the weapon to master, and it had taken him a while to warm to the idea. It seems just a little funny now that Thorin is, however indirectly, handing these to him. He shoves the arrow into its case, and slings that and his quiver over his shoulder and head.

Dwalin puts a hand on his shoulder. “You’ll be all right, Kili,” he says, voice uncharacteristically gentle, “You can take care of yourself. And so can Fili. But don’t…I mean…”

Kili shakes his head. He has no desire to hear reassurance right now. He’s had enough of what they all think it is. He mounts his pony, and as he does, one of the escort guards, already hooded, rides up and clutches at its reigns, making sure it stays steady. Kili takes them with a muttered thanks, takes out his pipe, and fills it. Another guard rides up to flank him on the other side as Dwalin takes the lead. Kili raises his hood as Dwalin does, and the rest of their party do the same.

As the party begins to move, Kili realizes he doesn’t have a match. This puts him in a decidedly sour mood. His pipe had been his final attempt to ease the pain of leaving. It seems so mundane, to light a pipe and smoke it, but Fili had made him this pipe long ago, and it was the only thing Kili could take with him that Fili had given him; as far as Kili knows, no one knows the origin of his pipe. He sighs heavily, turning to the guards on either side of him.

“Either one of you have a match?” he asks. The one to his right shrugs, but the one to his left strikes a match and brings it to life. Kili whistles in relief. He’ll at least have this. The pipe-weed would ease his mind, blank it even, at least until Kili came to the Shire. Kili rides his pony up as close as possible so that the guard can light his pipe. He murmurs his gratitude as the guard then takes the match to his own short pipe…

…And illuminates a peculiar smirk under an all-too familiar golden, braided mustache.

Kili nearly squeals, but Fili, head still down, puts a finger to his lips. Kili has to bite into his bottom lip to control himself. He seems to have forgotten how to breathe. He thinks he’s close to crying, and perhaps would, if he had any tears left. He turns his head, eyeing Dwalin, but Dwalin is looking straight forward, and no one else pays them no mind.

“What are you doing?” he whispers.

“You heard Thorin, didn’t you?” Fili replies just as quietly, “He allowed you to take whatever belonged to you, and you alone.”

Kili cannot help but smile. In the darkness, he thinks he sees Fili do the same. The moment is fleeting, though, as Kili realizes the implications.

“What about Thorin?” he asks, worried.

“Mother said she’ll handle it,” Fili answers, “I told her she should leave with us, but she thinks Thorin will need her more than we would. She knew, by the way, about us.”

“Oh…” Kili replies, and the idea doesn’t quite register in his mind; he’s still too happy to have Fili here, “And…Dwalin?”

“Knows I’m here,” Fili tells him, “He wasn’t convinced this was a good idea, but again, Mother said she’d vouch for him, if he cannot convince Thorin upon returning that he did not know that I had come along until it was too late.”

Kili sighs, not quite sure what to make of anything. He wants to reach out to touch Fili, perhaps take his hand, or perhaps direct their ponies away and just run to Mahal-knows-where. But at the same time, he recognizes Fili , Dwalin and their mother are risking so much with this, for their sake. By all accounts, Fili and Kili should both be dead, and yet here they are, journeying to the Shire together, one banished brother and one hidden heir. If Kili tried anything now, they would be throwing so much away.

“What happens now, Fili?” Kili asks, “To us?”

“We live, Kili,” Fili replies, “We live our lives. Together. The way _we_ want to. Is that enough?”

Kili sighs deep, marvelling slightly at how Thorin could punish something as true and as pure as _this_.

“It’s more than enough, Fili. More than enough.”

 

\--- + --- + --- + --- + --- + --- + --- + ---

 

_Uncle,_

_I have nothing but the deepest regret that we had to deceive you the way we did, but I do not regret leaving. I am with he who I love and cherish more than life itself, and that is worth more to me than anything Erebor can offer._

_I regret as well words exchanged in the heat of the moment on the morning of Kili’s banishment. I have forever looked up to you, and will continue to do so. You’ve done more for us than words can possibly say, and it filled me with untold joy to see you assume the throne you were born to keep. Perhaps one day, you shall allow our return, and if it happens so that I may inherit the kingdom from you, then I can only hope to rule with as much generosity, justice and fairness as we know you will. If I become a King half as good as you, then I would have achieved true greatness._

_I cannot fault you now for your actions. I know it must’ve caused you pain, and I could not see it in the moment. But I will always cherish your love for us, and will always remember that you did what you could not just for our sake, but for the kingdom’s. Kili and I look forward to the day that we will be reunited, whether in this lifetime, under the Mountain or in the halls of Mandos, and we will greet that day with relief and happiness, knowing that we have our Uncle back._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE! Happy ending. The people in the chatroom (and Julie, actually) asked for a happy ending, so they got one. :D
> 
> Thanks as ever for taking the time to read. This thing took me two days to write, and when I say two days, I mean chapter 4 took me an entire afternoon of hard soul-searching and channel-surfing. O.o Ah well. Hope you enjoyed, and I hope it loved up to Julie's art, which you can see more of by visiting [her Tumblr blog](http://kaciart.tumblr.com/).


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